How Can a Postpartum and Infant Doula Help Me?

postpartum and infant doula jax fl

How Can a Postpartum and Infant Doula Help Me?

You’ve heard the words postpartum and infant doula, but you’re wondering what exactly they mean together, what they do, and how can they help you?! First, you’re not alone! Most people have no idea what a postpartum and infant doula is. So breathe a sigh of relief you aren’t alone in the forest.

The word postpartum tends to get a bad rap.

Most people hear the word postpartum and immediately think of depression after a person gives birth.  Like prenatal and antenatal means during pregnancy, postpartum simply means the period of time after birth. Sure the postpartum time period can entail the baby blues, depression, anxiety, OCD, and psychosis, but it doesn’t always include those things.

A Postpartum and Infant Doula is a non-medical support person who is by your side after you have your baby!

While we can’t speak for all Doulas, First Coast Doulas are Knowledgeable, trained, and skilled in compassionate care for families with babies!

While every family is different and their needs are unique there are challenges all new parents face. We add value to your family dynamics no matter what that looks like. Traditional family, cool! Single parent home, you rock! Blended family, we love you all too! Polyamorous families we see you!

So, how can a Postpartum and Infant Doula help?

Sleep

Be it your first baby or your fifth sleep is a key component of good mental and physical health. We help parents get the necessary amount of sleep day in and day out!

Nourishment

Keeping up after baby is no easy task. Keeping the body fueled is another component of good health. We prep snacks and meals and bring it right to your bedside. We’ll even run out for your cravings! Life is busier than ever, we got you!

Emotional Support

Having a baby brings out all of the emotions. Your doula knows! We’re skilled in the art of emotional attunement! From weepy, raging, and numb to everything in between we see it, we recognize it, and we are comfortable talking about it and being there to see you through it!

Companionship

You need to heal, rest, and care for baby. That doesn’t mean you should feel like an outcast or be confined to isolation. Ugh, we hear it all the time, “I feel so alone.” Your doula makes going out, or staying in more enjoyable. Your doula can tend to your baby while we all walk Target or grab lunch! On the flip side we can stay in, bake cookies, and watch your favorite episodes wth you too!

Team Work

A second set of hands, eyes, and a compassionate heart! We can wear your baby while you get a nap. Keeping him, her, or them soothed. We’re skilled in the art of toddler wrangling and bathing too! Calling in help doesn’t mean you can’t do it, it may just mean you are wise to value another compassionate human to give your babies attention too!

Self-Care

All this talk about self-care and no time for it sucks! Keep your hair appointment and book that massage, we’ll come along and keep baby happy and unwanted hands off! You can relax knowing that during a bubble bath or a phone call with your girlfriend on the patio your baby is with the very best and only a room away!

So, in short your postpartum and infant doula is like a magical unicorn! She appears when you need her most, anticipates your needs before you even know you need it, and she makes magic happen!

Laundry and dishes, done!

Laughs and a safe place to cry, she’s your girl!

Pizza and drink, just say wine or whiskey!

Ssshhhhh….it’s not really magic, but it sure feels like it! Contact our “magical unicorns” for a complimentary phone consult!

 

My Baby Won’t Sleep, What Should I Do?

My Baby Won't Sleep Jax FL | Team Sleep Jax FL

My Baby Won’t Sleep, What Should I Do?

One of the first challenges parents face is how to get better sleep. I get emails daily, “Help! My baby won’t sleep, what should I do?” Healthy sleep habits are important! Sure, “Sleep when baby sleeps” they say! Who are “they” and do they actually have children? That could work for a first baby, but second and third babies means you’re likely being worn thin and your entire house may seem to be ruled by one, or maybe even two tiny humans.

Woah! Put the brakes on!

Parenting is hard enough! Doing it on little to no sleep is unreasonable. No one functions well or to their full potential when they aren’t well rested, including your baby bean! Healthy sleep habits are so important. For you, your children, and for the family unit as a whole. By learning and teaching your infant healthy sleep habits early on you are helping them master a life skill!

What an empowering opportunity that is!

From my baby won’t sleep to my baby is sleeping so much better?!

What a feeling!

Did you google, “My baby won’t sleep, what do I do?” Do you believe your baby should be sleeping longer through the night? Are you set on getting off to a great start early on? Do you just want to get more sleep while one of our team members works with your little one on healthy sleep practices? #TeamSleep_Jax is First Coast Doulas’ sleep solution for families in Jacksonville, Florida.

Team members of Team Sleep Jax are certified postpartum doulas who work with families at night specifically to help them get more sleep.

Team Sleep Jax can:

  • listen to your concerns
  • validate your feelings through this process
  • teach you about safer sleep and more healthy sleep habits
  • show you some techniques and give tips
  • help you establish and implement routine and schedule
  • help you to teach your baby the life skill of sleep

Parents who are”at the end of their rope”, “out of ideas”, or who just want to get their babies and their family off to a great start are putting #TeamSleep_Jax on their home team. Together we’re creating more peaceful bedtimes and burning less midnight oil! If you want to learn more about the First Coast Doulas’ dream team we’d love to hear from you! We are happy to set up a complimentary phone consult to learn more about the challenges you’re facing and to match you with the right sleep package!

my baby won't sleep jax fl | Team Sleep Jax

 

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April the Giraffe: An Exclusive Interview

April the Giraffe | Jax Placenta | Jax, FL Placenta
April the Giraffe’s Vacation Destination!

April the Giraffe: An Exclusive Interview

We can learn a lot from April the giraffe. Millions watched and waited, and waited some more before some gave up hope on ever seeing April the giraffe give birth. While others came to the conclusion that perhaps April’s pregnancy was a cruel April fool’s Day joke made up by Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, New York. In case you haven’t seen the latest news, it wasn’t.

By the way, joking about pregnancy is never funny, ever!

We thought it might be fun to give April the Giraffe a voice in a mock interview! We hope you enjoy playing along. Full disclosure: at First Coast Doulas we believe in helping others have their own voice heard, but we’re not giraffe translators!

This is totally for laughs, nothing more! Enjoy!

 

Interviewer: April, thank you for agreeing to do this exclusive interview with First Coast Doulas! You looked so calm throughout this process. Were you nervous?

April the Giraffe: Of course I was nervous! To start with they sorely miscalculated my dates, and I knew it. To all my “fans” this must have seemed like the longest pregnancy in giraffe history. FYI it felt the same way to me.  It’s true what they say every month in pregnancy has approximately 30 days except the last month of pregnancy which has at least 100!

The morning I woke up to them installing a damn “nanny cam” in my stall, all up in my personal space, I about lost it!

Who has time to watch my every move?

Mind your own tits!

Seriously though, what are you humans doing all day? [Said in a serious tone, follow by a brief pause and then a laugh]. 

This was my fourth baby, so I understood what my body was doing when I entered the active phase of labor.

Before active labor all bets are off anyway, but that’s pregnancy 101 stuff!

 

Interviewer: You’re hilarious April! Did you consider hiring a doula?

April the Giraffe: Listen, this is my life, I can’t make this stuff up! If that humors you I’m glad my life made you smile! I did hire a doula, the best in the area!

Interviewer: What caused her to miss your birth?

April the Giraffe: She didn’t! I hired a post-birth doula. I figured I’d have enough mammals “helping” me give birth; mind you I did all the work! After having my first baby and just getting through the first six weeks, I knew I’d be wise to hire help after giving birth if I were to do it again. I want to feel my best, and enjoy my babies as much as possible!

So I found my doula and made it a priority to hire her.

My post-birth doula has been with us now through three babies. She’s like my BFF, only she has this innate ability to tune into my needs, comforts me, can help through the night when I need rest the most. The babies love her! She has no agenda about what is “best” and she trusts that I know what’s right for my family. She’s a trained professional, but not pushy or judgy at all. She supports and encourages me!! She is the best thing since acacia!

Interviewer: We couldn’t help but notice that you pooped in labor. Were you embarrassed?

April the Giraffe: How did I know that question would come up? You humans seem fixated on poop. I’ll be blunt because I’m sure your readers will appreciate that. Shit happens. When you’re pushing, or “breathing you baby down”, you have absolutely no control of your rectum. Where’s the fecal matter supposed to go?

Look, I think if you’re big enough to mate you’re big enough to know that mammals poop in labor and that is normal!

 

Interviewer: April, did you eat your placenta, or afterbirth as some refer to it? Was it gross? What was the purpose of eating your placenta? Is that something you would recommend to others? 

April the Giraffe: Yes, I ate it! I also ate the amniotic sac and fluid too! Gross? Well, it didn’t taste like…freedom [April gave me a long, quiet stare with a raised brow….], but it wasn’t gross at all. It helps me have more energy, feel more balanced, and fight off the urge to knock the “nanny cam” off the damn wall! Yes, I for sure recommend it to others. Find someone reputable though; don’t make the catastrophic mistake of having someone pick up your placenta.

Listen, if you’re feeling uneasy remember this; if an herbivore, like myself and my herbivore friends (cows, goats, and gorillas) can eat our own placenta after birth, surely you can swallow up your dried and powdered placenta in capsules!

Easy peasy!

Come on, if the Real Housewives and Kim Kardashian can do it so can you!

 

Interviewer: April it has been a real pleasure interviewing you! Do you have any advice for our readers?

April the Giraffe: Don’t compare yourselves to others. Don’t worry what others will think. Eat your placenta and hire a postpartum doula! Oh, and take down the “nanny cam”!

Thank you all for playing along! If you have questions about childbirth classes, placenta encapsulation services, or post-birth support we are happy and ready to answer those for you!

Happy Birth & Parenting!

~Elizabeth Luke, owner of First Coast Doulas, LLC

Bringing Home Baby #2, Five Things to Know

Bringing Home Baby #2, jax placenta

Bringing Home Baby #2, Five Things to Know

What’s there to know?

You have done this before.

You are already a parent!

Right….

Because you have previous experience you may be a little less nervous about caring for a newborn or the thought of bringing your tiny human home to a busy toddler can be frightening.

First let me tell you, you can do this. You may flounder around to find your routine in the beginning, but after some time, you will begin to adapt. Take a deep breath and remember these 5 things to help you transition into your new role as a parent of not one, but two.

It will appear that your first ‘baby’ is now actually a giant

Your first child, even if they are still a tiny 1 or 2 year old, will look huge when bringing home baby #2. Everything about them will seem big! Their hands, only a few days seemed so small when you held on to them, now engulf those of their sibling’s. Their voice, their scent and their development now seem so far advanced as you are brought back to the quiet whimpers of your newborn. As a labor and postpartum doula, I have heard clients say many times, “no one ever told me they would look so big.” This alone can be a lot to take in.

What worked for one baby may not work for the next

Feeding and sleeping! Getting to know your firstborn’s likes and dislikes when it comes to the essentials is a great accomplishment. You had mastered your first’s routine in only a few months, this second time around is sure to be quicker! If that were the case, how would they keep life interesting? The behavior and personality of one may not be like the second. During times like these, clients have expressed some doubt before discovering the reason one part of their desired routine is not working. Adjustments will need to be made, but you are capable and you will figure out your new normal.

Know your limits

We give and give and give ourselves to little people who turn around and ask for more with one cue or another. While they are incredibly scrumptious, they can be…and are, equally taxing at times. When we are responsible for the lives’ of our future, knowing what we can and cannot handle is crucial. That will look different for every family. Do you need organization in your house? Hiring that out may be what works for you. Does 2 hours a day to yourself help you recharge? Are you a better mother to your children as a working mom? It’s different for every family and it is more than okay to choose to live a way others may not.

Find your person

Talk to a trusted friend regularly, about anything. Allow their encouraging words to sink in and gratefully welcome their help.  When you receive a compliment only say the words, “thank you”. This sounds silly, but it’s important. Don’t brush it off. Don’t couple your ‘thank you’ with a phrase that waters down the compliment you just received. We don’t always receive words that build us up. Postpartum doulas trained to support families with zero agenda are perfect for this role as well. He or she can be your best friend with professional expertise.

Lower your expectations

Hear me on this. Some of the thoughts we have seem so bizarre that we are sure to be the only ones to think them. “When I am bringing home baby #2 will I love her like the first? How can the second one be cute compared to the first? What if she doesn’t fit in with the rest of us?” You are not the only mother to have these thoughts before laying eyes on your new babe and you won’t be the last. Envisioning your bundle to fit right into your family as if you have always known him is a refreshing expectation that can easily be upheld. Expecting the bliss of watching your toddler kiss his little brother in complete adoration to last throughout their childhood years? Well, that’s an expectation to consider holding loosely.

When caring for a child and baby feels like a juggling act you are sure to drop. Come back to these 5 tips, call your doula and remember to take it one day (or even one hour) at a time.

 

bringing home baby #2, best placenta encapsulation in jax

Author: Whitney Teel, Wilmington Coastal Doulas

Whitney is the owner of Wilmington Coastal Doulas! She holds down the day to day operations and with a compassionate heart and a listening ear she supports couples as they find their confidence and identify with themsleves as self-assured parents! Whitney provides mentorship to doulas who are trained through ProDoula and are working with WC Doulas.

When she’s not slaying the day to day office stuff, building relationships and bridges with people in the community, and supporting her clients you’ll likely find her enjoying time with her own family and close friends! If you’re in the Wilmington, NC area and planning to welcome a baby soon you owe it to yourself to check out all that Wilmington Coastal Doulas has to offer!

 

 

What Women Need After Birth Is…

What Women Need After Birth Is…

what women need after birth is, Jax, FL

Elizabeth Luke, owner of First Coast Doulas asked 48 women and 24 men to answer this question, “What women need after birth is  __________.” You might be able to relate to their answers, or they may just catch you off guard and make you go hhmmm.

First Coast Doulas knows the challenges new families face.

Every experience is different and unique. We know that just because things went awry during birth or afterwards once doesn’t mean you are destine to that next go around, there’s support available. Preparing for what possibly lies ahead can mean the difference between feeling supported and having your voice heard versus feeling alone and like you had no say or support in your corner.

Without further ado here are 72 answers to the question, “What women need after birth is __________?

 

The women who were polled answered the question, “What women need after birth is ___________?”

* number of women with the same answer

  • someone to feed my older kids
  • a laundry fairy *4
  • someone to show me ways to care for and soothe my baby (you can only learn so much from books and videos) *2
  • someone at home with me so I didn’t have to be alone, no one should “have” to be alone after giving birth
  • someone to listen *3
  • food: healthy, warm food
  • two more arms and wine
  • support with breastfeeding
  • someone to care for the baby so I could play with my other children
  • freedom to cry and not get questioned
  • more time off work *5
  • my friends and family to help me without having to ask them *3
  • someone to hold my baby so I could shower *5
  • “a bottle washer I hated washing those damn bottles with a baby in the NICU”
  • someone to help at night, just at night
  • energy to do things *5
  • someone to get the older kids ready for school and do homework with them
  • to hold my baby first *2
  • time to myself, for myself, space
  • sleep *6
  • a pediatrician that understood breastfeeding *2

The men who were polled answered the question, “What women need after birth is____________?”

* number of men with the same answer

pain meds and those ice pack pad things

  • peace and quiet *2
  • food, my wife needed pizza *2, but only 1 said pizza
  • a trophy
  • sleep *5
  • their mother or sister because I didn’t understand any of it
  • time alone with the baby to bond *3
  • their husband *3
  • chocolate
  • more maternity leave *3
  • people around who respect her decisions *2
  • the bed to herself

First Coast Doulas offers services to help you reach your goals for birth and postpartum.

Do you know what a postpartum doula does? Probably not, most people don’t! Do you know what almost every single client we’ve had says? Go ahead take a guess, please!

It’s something along the lines of, “I had no idea this service was available”, or “where were you when I had my first?”

We get calls from women who’ve given birth and most of the time they expected they would bounce back rather quickly and life would be an easy transition. Either because they bounced back with their first, “Marcy and Tina went right back to work and life”, or they just really had no idea of what to expect. After all this is an all new territory, remember every birth is different.

While loved ones and friends get back to their own jobs, lives, and obligations, First Coast Doulas make you their top priority!

First Coast Doulas can support you with latching your baby at birth.

We’re knowledgeable about breastfeeding, helping you care for your newborn, and healing after birth.

We can lay out all the options so you can choose what’s best for you and your baby!

We help create a safe space for women to talk and unload as needed.

We help moms eat healthier snacks, help the family understand what they can do to help, help tidy up a little, and help keep that laundry fairy in check!

First Coast Doulas helps mothers, babies, and partners have an easier transition after birth!

First Coast Placenta is bring love, energy, and healing to women after birth.

 

First Coast Placenta Services, What’s That About?!

placenta capsules jax fl

 

First Coast Doulas has expanded!

Our professionalism, safe practices, and compassion make us extraordinary! People, including healthcare providers love the way we’re providing placenta encapsulation. This part of First Coast Doulas has grown so much so that we’ve decided to branch into First Coast Placenta! We unveiled at The Prego Expo in Jax. this past Sunday!

placenta capsules jax fl

Have you ever heard of placenta encapsulation?

Yes? No? Well, let me tell you all about it!

After birthing your baby you will also birth your placenta. The placenta is the life sustaining element between yourself and your baby. Many women give very little thought, if any to their placenta. It’s not uncommon to think back on your birth and wonder how you didn’t see it, since after all you birthed it.

Your placenta is discarded as medical waste, used in cosmetic products, and even used in stem cell research. OR it can be used to nourish the mother after birth. Full of nutrients it’s made perfectly by you, for you!

Bizarre I know!

Not only is it not gross or weird at all, but it also makes complete sense if you really think about it!

In very simple terms placenta encapsulation is a process which involves making an all natural supplement from one’s own placenta. The placenta is handled respectfully, and in a safe manner, dried, ground into a powder, and put into capsules. The placenta capsules are made for the woman who grew it, not anyone else. Your capsules last approximately six weeks and after that, if you had a tincture made you can use that to extend the benefits!

PLACENTA SERVICES placenta capsules jacksonville, florida

Benefits Include:

  • lowering the risk or symptoms of postpartum depression and anxiety
  • helps boost your milk supply
  • reduces bleeding and helps your body heal faster
  • #1 reported benefit- Energy

How is First Coast Placenta doing things differently?!

First Coast Placenta not only follows the strictest guidelines and highest standards, is dual trained and certified, and upholds our ethical responsibilities, but we also provide an added layer of protection.

First Coast Placenta’s No Doubt Policy guarantees and that the placenta your ingesting (taking into your body by mouth) is yours and noone else’s.

Our clients trust us to handle their placenta with great care, to honor their placenta, and to stay up to date on new information as it becomes available, but we’re the only ones in Jacksonville that can guarantee the placenta our clients ingest is their own because our clients remain in possession of their placenta at all times, every time.

Every encapsulation we do happens in the client’s home only, every time.

When we are hired we meet our clients face to face, provide a transport kit, paperwork, and a way to discuss their decision with their provide. Healthcare workers love the way we are providing this and many our trusting us to handle their placenta encapsulation because they love that we set the highest standards in Jacksonville, Florida.

Your birth team will bag and label your placenta and you don’t have to see it at all, unless you want to, in which case you just ask. You, your partner, mother, or other family member takes your placenta home within 24 hours after birth and put it in the fridge. You contact us and we schedule a time to come to your home to put your placenta into capsules!

Yep, in your own home!

REMEMBER- you can be as involved (view or handle your placenta), or as removed (you don’t have to see it at all) from the process as you wish to be.

Our clients love safety, transparency, and how much thought we put into the experience!

We provide this service to first time moms and fifth time moms alike. Most of our clients are moms that have given birth before. They tell us that this time around they would like help healing and feeling better faster than before and they aren’t writing off placenta capsules for sake of the “weird” factor.

First Coast Placenta has taken the weird right out of it!

We tell all of our clients that these are the non-magic, magical pills! You still need to set yourself up for the best fourth trimester possible. Placenta capsules work best in conjunction with taking care of yourself during those first six weeks after birth.

Placenta encapsulation with First Coast Placenta is affordable and starts at just $250 which can be broken into two payments.

First Coast Placenta bringing love, energy, and healing after birth!

Placenta Encapsulation; Why in the World?

Placenta Encapsulation; Why?

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Placenta encapsulation is something more and more women are choosing to do. Why? They are hearing stories from friends and family members who have encapsulated and had wonderful results. They have access to the World Wide Web, several social media platforms, and groups to discuss this topic and they sure are glad they do!

But why, why would women want to do placenta encapsulation?

Keep reading!

Women who have ingested their placentas have reported that it has helped them with-

  • increasing energy
  • breastmilk to come in sooner
  • increased breastmilk supply
  • avoiding or lessening the risk of developing postpartum mood issues and the “baby blues”
  • aid in getting the uterus to pre-pregnancy size
  • speed up recovery
  • replenishing lost nutrients and hormones
  • monthly menstrual cycles discomfort
  • with natural pain relief
  • replenishing iron levels
  • reduce or stop postpartum bleeding
  • balancing hormones in menopause

Ask just about anyone who has chosen this natural way to nourish their bodies and you will likely hear testimonies similar to these:

“My placenta capsules have been awesome with energy!”

“I was beyond pleased with the outcome. With my first two children I had heavy bleeding, no milk supply, and battled Postpartum Depression. With my third child I started the placenta pills when he was 5 days old and was floored with my results! My post baby bleeding stopped around 2 weeks, my milk supply came in and I actually have milk to put in the freezer, no PPD in sight, AND the energy boost they gave me helped me kick a terrible coffee habit. I have felt amazingly wonderful post baby and I totally credit it to my placenta pills, if we expand our family again I will hands down purchase this service again!”

This was my 5th birth, but 1st time doing placenta encapsulation. I will definitely will be recommending encapsulation and First Coast Doulas.”

“This is the second time I’ve chosen encapsulation and just like last time I feel great. With my first I had horrible pp bleeding, low milk supply and felt like I was ran over by a truck by week two. Then I struggled with postpartum depression for about eight months. I couldn’t imagine having another baby, the thought made me sad. With our second I decided to have my placenta put into capsules after researching natural ways to heal after having a baby. I paid close to $300, everyone thought I was crazy, I worried I was crazy, but it was worth every penny and more. No problems with energy at all and I had no help after the birth of our second. I was able to breastfeed our son until one without giving any formula and I contribute this to my placenta pills. When we found out we were expecting our third baby my husband started a ‘fund’ for my magic pills and luckily we found First Coast Doulas. I wish I could tell everyone how placenta encapsulation changed my view of having a baby.”

 

Placenta encapsulation with First Coast Doulas is more than just capsules or a service, it’s an experience! We cater to families who want the best for their families! They know that their safety and happiness is paramount to us!

Get in contact with us today and take the first step toward postpartum happiness!

Here’s another link in support of placenta encapsulation!

Alexandra’s Breastfeeding Adventure

I am happy to share with all of you another interview I did recently with a sweet mom of a two and a half year old and a seven and a half month old. Her name is Alexandra Mundy. Alexandra is excited to share her breastfeeding adventure with women everywhere this World Breastfeeding Week!

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FC Doulas~ How did you decide to breastfeed? How did you prepare?

Alexandra~ I never really knew anything about breastfeeding except my mom nursed my brother and I and my husband’s mom nursed her 6 children. People kept asking me if I was going to breastfeed, and I just always said I would try. I stocked up on formula because all my friends nursed for less than 6 months, then switched to formula so I thought that is just what you did. I did zero birthing or breastfeeding research.

FC Doulas~ Did you face any challenges, if so what was the hardest challenge?

Alexandra~ The hardest challenge for me was the 6 week marathon cluster feeding. I thought babies only needed to eat every two to three hours, so when my baby starting wanting to eat around the clock, I was convinced she was starving. I started pumping to supplement her but got incredibly discouraged when I would only pump an ounce. I was convinced I had no milk and topped off my daughter’s breast milk with formula once or twice.

FC Doulas~ How did you overcome that?

Alexandra~ I finally found an online support group (Dairy Queens) and understood that babies need to eat AT LEAST every few hours but not only every few hours.

FC Doulas~ What do you want other moms to know about breastfeeding?

Alexandra~ I wish I had known to count diapers and not minutes. I ended up nursing my first for 14 months and am going on 8 months with my 2nd. My 2nd was SO much easier because I just sat and let her eat as much as she wanted, not watching the clock. Also, I wish I had discovered side lying nurses before my 1st was 8 months! That position changed my life.

That concluded the interview. The picture attached to this story was of Alexandra and her daughter about 20 minutes after she was born. Isn’t it just a heartwarming, priceless picture?

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

#worldbreastfeedingweek #liquidgold #doulagit2quit

A Light At The End Of The Tunnel

This is the final blog in 6 part blog series Titled; Guilt, Inadequacy, and Insufficient Funds

See bottom of page for details.

 

“Inadequacy is the arch nemesis of happiness”~Elizabeth Luke

Postpartum Doula Jacksonville Florida

 

So, I wrote about feelings of guilt and inadequacy in the first five blogs in this series. At times a certain amount of that is normal, but it’s what we do with those feelings that matters. By understanding that we’re human and that we also have needs of our own allows us room to acknowledge those needs and accept them as valid. It allows us room to be better people, better partners, and better parents.

I’ll use showering as an example here.

As a new mom having to choose between feeling guilty for letting you baby cry for a short time while you shower or skipping your shower altogether, is just not fair. It’s not! Yes, your baby wants to be held and desires you close, it’s good for their cognitive development, but showering is important for a new mom, it boosts her moral, helps her feel refreshed, relaxed, and more human-like. Am I right? A quick shower can mean mommy feels better and therefore can mommy better!

You shouldn’t have to choose, but you do and you don’t have to feel guilty either way. The choice is yours and what you do with that choice matters. Know it’s your now, but not your forever and move forward with your decision. There’s light at the end of the tunnel!

Don’t let your guilt make you an enabler to your children. Don’t do them that injustice. We have a responsibility to our children to foster their growth in a positive way, enabling them is not part of that. Meaning guilt is normal, but allowing that guilt to cloud your judgment is in poor taste and can be detrimental.

I’ll give you an example. I truly feel guilty that I was only able to be home with my second son for six weeks after he was born. He doesn’t do as well academically as my oldest son whom I was home with for a full year after birth. Sometimes I blame myself for his academic troubles, but I know that while this may have played a part, it isn’t realistically all my fault, I did the very best I could. I can “should have” all day long, but it wouldn’t move me or my son forward as a people, and so I do not let that guilt make me an enabler to my son.

I know he is capable of so much; he is incredibly smart and funny. I won’t let my guilt lead me to enable him to do less for himself. Will I be here for him, YES! Will I do for him while he isn’t doing for himself, most definitely not!

So, yo, yo, yo, from one mother to another I say;

Start by building a strong foundation, surround yourself with those who want to see you succeed, but have no expectations on what you should do or how you should parent. A professional postpartum Doula is a great way to help you formulate and carry out a postpartum plan and build that strong foundation great parenting is built on.

Our friends at Phoenix Family Birth wrote a great blog about postpartum that includes a  postpartum plan printable. For families living in their service area, boy are they lucky! Their compassion and expertise is huge plus for the Phoenix Metro area!

In these times as a new parent, first time or fifth, and an individual aside from that, you do the best you can, you do what you need to do, and understand we are all human and all fall short at times. That is normal, healthy, and o.k.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, finding that light is key! FC Doulas helps our clients find the light, security, confidence, and their own path to birth and parenting!

Focus on your strengths and work on your weaknesses. Doing that will teach your children to do that same, after all they follow our actions way before they do what we say!

Can I get an Amen? Amen!

Feelings of guilt and inadequacy can lead to insufficiency don’t let your strengths, your achievements, and joys be over powered; you are wonderfully made and fully capable of being all that you need to be.

Some days that is the mom who gets a shower, does her makeup, tackles all the laundry, cooks, and has happy babies and husband. Other days that’s the mom who just lies on the floor with her toddler and plays cars while nursing the baby, having never ever brushed her hair and ordering take out!

Love and light to all of you! I hope you enjoyed this blog series and I hope that it leaves you in a better place after having read it. We would love to hear your thoughts and comments leave us a comment below or for more information about our services contact us!

 

Titles for each blog in the series include;

The Postpartum Doula’s Role

This is part 5 in 6 part blog series Titled; Guilt, Inadequacy, and Insufficient Funds

See bottom of page for details.

 

“Children are not a distraction from more important work, they are the most important work.”~ John Trainer, MD

 

 

postpartum doula role jacksonville

 

In the days after birth everything is fresh, raw, and new, even for a third time mom. Each woman, each family is in a place that is new, the family dynamics have changed. There is an in between space that each family reaches and this in between space is where a professional postpartum Doula steps in as a gentle guide or just helping hands, with open ears and heart and fill in the gaps in the lives of families with whom we work.

We are here and help you find your path to birth and parenting!

Each families needs will vary, as a professional postpartum doula we are aware of individual needs within a family, but also the needs of a family as a whole. We learn your families needs and get to know each of you so that we can support you uniquely.

First Coast Doulas understands that during the first year postpartum, especially the six weeks following birth, feelings of inadequacy and guilt, and functioning on little to no sleep can leave you in an odd, almost unreal place. We want every family to flourish, not just survive!

In those times when mothers feel unsure a postpartum Doula is there to listen and valid her feelings and concerns. We support mothers who are confident and know exactly what they’ll need and others who really aren’t sure at all, both are normal, we can be of great help to both.

At FC Doulas, our postpartum Doulas don’t replace anyone; we work with the family to coordinate a plan to for the postpartum time. We reassure the mother and father, help with bonding and assist mom in being more comfortable. We will provide basic breastfeeding support and guidance.

In addition we help facilitate safe space for parents to talk about their concerns and ask questions about their newborns without fear or judgment. We assist with light meal prep and housekeeping, organizing baby things, help with outings, diapering, swaddling, feeding, and can help you in selecting products. We help connect families with other professionals for additional support for anything outside of our range of expertise.

We want every mother who desires a shower daily to get her shower; it’s a little slice of heaven in the day of a mother, uninterrupted shower and sleep! Precious sleep! We help new parents get that restful sleep, not just survival sleep, a key ingredient in a well postpartum!

We fill the gaps that parents know will be there and those unexpected potholes along the way!

Fathers may want to be more involved, but aren’t sure how to accomplish this or are nervous about caring for the baby. Sometimes they just need a little direction or for someone to talk it out with them. A father might have a hard time bonding with baby. The postpartum Doula can make some suggestions to help the family during this time.

The entire family is experiencing an in between and the postpartum doula understands that.

Siblings benefit from having a postpartum doula involved too. Becoming a sibling is big news! In fact it can be so big that it’s overwhelming. The once only child now shares both parents with his new sibling, his park days and play dates having taken a back seat to appointments, diaper changes, and feedings. With a postpartum Doula you have someone who can involve the older sibling, and give attention to their needs so they thrive in the new family setting.

There are times that parents seem emotionally absent or withdrawn, and other times they are all the feels. Doulas can help the family find their new groove! Having a postpartum Doula in the first six weeks after birth is the essential ingredient in your postpartum recipe!

First Coast Doulas love supporting families postpartum and we look forward to getting to know you and your family!

FC Doulas postpartum Doula, Elizabeth is also a professional Placenta Encapsulation Specialists. Find out the benefits of placenta encapsulation and how having a postpartum Doula and PE Specialist in your home benefits you!

 

 

Included in this series;

Each title in the series will run 7-22-2015 through 7-31-20