How to Show Support Through Pregnancy Loss

How to Show Support Through Pregnancy Loss Jacksonville Florida

1 in 4 Women Will Experience Infant & Pregnancy Loss

At some point in life you’ll find yourself wondering how to support someone you care about whose grieving an infant or pregnancy loss. Perhaps it’s you who’s lost a baby and you’re wondering; what sorts of feelings are normal, and what you should share and expect from others during this time. What happens when someone you know is pregnant and they lose their baby, be it 2 weeks or 30 weeks gestation? Losing one of the greatest gifts anyone can be blessed with hurts. Parents will grieve and they’ll need support whether they say so or not.

Life moves on. Meanwhile their life seems to stands still.

October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month.

First Coast Doulas supports families as they bring their babies home and many who never get that chance. We receive more messages and phone calls than you could imagine. People reach out for support and to talk about their loss. We talk with them about what they’re experiencing and about being as comfortable as possible through this difficult time. We also discuss what they might expect next and how their loved ones can support them best.

It’s crystal clear that more people want to know how to support those they care about during pregnancy loss, they just aren’t always sure how.

First, you must understand that supporting others through a loss can pull at your heart strings and may feel awkward.

Imagine how hard it must be for them, they’ve lost their baby. We can do hard things. It will feel terrible and may feel awkward, show your support anyway. Don’t avoid the parents, embrace them. Be prepared to support them in a way that is best for them, not always what you might want. Each loss is different, unique, and tragic. Each baby is special.

Be present for them, even in silence.

Words aren’t always necessary. A silent supporter lets the parents talk, cry, or share any range of feelings they’re experiencing without interjecting their own perception or thoughts. You might make her a glass of warm tea and just be there by her side and acknowledge how much it sucks. There is no need to try and cheer her or fix her. Perhaps you stop by and lend a hand to the partner who is out doing some yard work, little to no words are necessary in this arena. Drop a card in the mail and include a gift card for dinner.

How to Show Support Through Pregnancy Loss Jax FL | Newborn Jax FL

Talk about their baby, use their baby’s name.

It doesn’t matter how pregnant she was. This little one means everything to its parents. Ask them if they’ve given their baby a name, even if they didn’t know the sex of their baby a name is beautiful way to honor and remember them. When our grandmothers pass away we talk about them and we use their names. We keep their name and spirit alive that way. You can do the same and the parents may appreciate that someone else remembers their baby too!

Do not expect them to celebrate your pregnancy or birth.

Even if this is your best friend, do not expect anything from her during this time. If she does attend your baby shower or comes by after your baby is born to congratulate you, please acknowledge that you know this is difficult for her and that you love her and appreciate her for sharing in your joy.

Never put a timeline on someone else’s pain.

Everyone grieves in their own time. There are stages of grief and people don’t always move through them on the same timeline, some move forward while others move backward and forward. Please do not impose your own ideas on when someone should be “over it”, parents are never over it. They just learn to cope and deal better as time passes, but the place they prepared in their hearts for their baby or babies will always exist.

Tears are more than okay.

In fact, it may be very helpful for her to know that her baby was important and matters to more than just her. Even if you aren’t familiar with the grief of losing a child yourself, knowing you are grieving for her loss because you care so much for her is touching and it just feels good to be loved. Human kindness and compassion goes a long way.

Help out in whatever way you can, but be understanding if they say no.

Bring food, or go grocery shopping. Prepare some food for the family. You might offer to walk her dog or help by tidying up a little. Doing some laundry, taking kids to practice or to and from school help lighten the load. Another mom shares that her co-worker remembered her favorite dessert and she dropped it by with some coffee.

Don’t question or judge her choices. Trying to conceive, waiting to try, and timing are all very, very personal, especially after pregnancy loss. She will share when she is ready.

Allow her to grieve in any way she may need to and time to talk about her loss when she is ready.

Be kind with your words to all, you never know what others are going through.

Don’t forget to acknowledge the person’s partner/spouse.

Don’t dismiss someone’s loss because the pregnancy wasn’t planned or because they have other children.

When you are wondering how to show support through pregnancy loss, please avoid anything that starts or includes:

  • Well, at least…
  • Look at it this way…
  • Maybe this pregnancy wasn’t meant to be…
  • God has other plans…

Replace those with:

  • I’m sorry, that sucks…
  • I can see how much you’re hurting…
  • I’ll never understand why babies are taken away…
  • Your hopes and dreams for your baby were crushed, understandably you are disappointed…

We hope this blog is helpful to you and to those you share it with. In the words of Dr. Seuss, “A person is a person, no matter how small!”

Authored by: Elizabeth Luke

Owner and Doula at First Coast Doulas, LLC

Baby Jax FL | How to Show Support Through Pregnancy Loss

You’re a Rock Star Even if Nobody Tells You

you're a rock star | best doulas in jax florida

You’re a Rock Star Even if Nobody Tells You

We’ve got to get something off our chests.  It’s a secret that shouldn’t be. It’s something that doesn’t, for some reason, get said enough or only gets said when the “right” conditions are met.  And it’s a shame.

You’re a Rock Star! Yes, YOU!

Birthing a baby and parenting said baby until they run your refrigerator out the door, is hard work no matter what. Even for us folk who seem to be floating on cloud 9 in the best breeze, there are days that are just hard. And you’re a rock star for showing up.  Giving birth to this tiny human is also an incredible feat, no matter the mode of delivery.

Society at large seems to place a higher value on certain types of birth though.

We’ve even noticed that the professionals with whom so many new parents place their trust have demonstrated public preference to birth and are biased in what they deem worthy of public merriment. As care providers and professional support persons in a position of authority, this behavior implicitly ascribes a morality to this value and as such, shames different choices and outcomes. And while it may be unintentional, many parents end up feeling like shit about their birth.

 

“I don’t know why it bothers me so much, but it does. I did all the things. I took an eight week childbirth class, hired a well-known doula, read articles, and I joined a moms group for women who were and had birthed narturally. In the end it was just me, all alone. Noone cheering me on and telling me, ‘You’re a rock star’, or ‘You rocked your birth’ after a 12 hour labor turned cesarean. I was heart broken, it would have just felt good to know others saw how hard I tried. Instead I felt like I let my doula and closest friends down.”

 

Our birth experiences shape us, whether we like it or not. How we feel as we enter parenthood matters! Words matter! Hearing, “You’re a rockstar” matters, and not hearing it matters too!

When the most popular doctor, midwife, or doula in town always posts and shares the “best” births on their social media platforms, and you notice that they always say, “Congrats to this Rock Star mama who had an non-medicated vaginal birth” but doesn’t mention the rock star parents who labored for hours and chose to pursue relief via pharmaceuticals, or the parent who chose a cesarean birth from the get-go, it hurts.

We get it.

We hear you.

Having a “natural” birth (which is a misnomer, by the way) is definitely something to be proud of and it is worth celebration. No doubt, at all. But choosing an epidural or opting for cesarean birth is an equally valid choice and one that deserves the same frequency and intensity of accolades.

This isn’t simply a matter of target market or ideal patients/clients on the part of the midwives or other birth professionals in regards to their statements/behavior online and off, because

a). not all of their patients/clients want the same things for their birth that the provider wants

b.) a provider and/or doula shouldn’t necessarily “want” anything other than a healthy, safe, and happy experience and outcome to begin

c.) they are all held in esteem in the greater health community and because of this, have influence and

d.) even if, by some chance, all their clients/patients did want a completely drug-free/intervention-free, vaginal birth, there will always be some who, for their safety and health, cannot and will not birth as originally intended.

The consequences from feeling like one “failed” at birth are very real and entirely damaging.

Not to mention, it isn’t a test to pass. By saving our “You’re a rock star” for specific people, we are effectively setting people up to believe that birth is a test of their abilities and ultimately, of their parental devotion and/or suitability. By always exclusively referring to these “mamas” (another issue for another day), we do a disservice to all those parents who need and want validation and…shared joy in their hard work.  Because let’s be clear here: non-medicated vaginal birth is hard. Medicated vaginal birth is hard. Cesarean birth is hard. Birth is hard.  So what are we saying?

There is no right or wrong way!

YOU’RE A ROCK STAR. With capital letters.  Unequivocally.  All day, every day!

P.S we recommend surrounding yourself with people who will tell you you’re a rock star without any strings. It doesn’t have to be us-we just want nothing more than your fully knowing your power.

Authored by: Heather Horrell and Elizabeth Luke

What’s a Placenta Tincture?

What's a Placenta Tincture? | Jax Placenta | Placenta Encapsulation Jax, FL

What’s a Placenta Tincture?

So you’ve decided on placenta encapsulation to help you heal naturally after you give birth. Now you’re wondering, what’s a placenta tincture and why would I want one? You’ll be taking your placenta capsules for approximately 4-6 weeks after birth. During that time you will be replenishing lost nutrients and hopefully you’ll reap other benefits like increased energy, less mood fluctuations, and a more balanced feeling overall.

 

“When I opened the jar and there were only 3 placenta capsules felt like crying. I needed there to be more capsules in there. Then, I called Elizabeth and she reminded me about my placenta tincture. Six months after having my daughter I’m still taking my placenta tincture occasionally. I feel much better than I did with my first baby. Completely different experience. I attribute it to my placenta.” Sarah K.

 

So what’s a placenta tincture?

A tincture, in general is an alcohol extraction of an herb. The alcohol extracts the medicinal constituents of the herb through the process of osmosis, resulting in a concentrated liquid. When First Coast Doulas handcrafts your placenta tincture there are no herbs added only the perfect quantities of your placenta and the highest quality alcohol.

 

“I have celiac disease, it was nice to be able to buy something and not have to ask, “Is it gluten free?” First Coast Doulas are the only ones that I trust, they’ve thought of every detail.”~ Trisha W.

Why would you want a placenta tincture?

A placenta tincture provides support during the in between period that comes with motherhood, first baby or fifth. The period of time between surviving with a newborn and feeling like you really have a handle on life a bit more. Let’s be honest, life will never be the “same”, and we’re all dealing with our own crazy, but you do find your new normal at some point. It’s that feeling of; wow this seems easier and more enjoyable!

Benefits of a Placenta Tincture Include:

  • Generally speaking tinctures become more potent over time whereas dried powdered supplements begin to lose their potency from the moment they are made.
  • Shelf stable for an extended period when stored away from direct sunlight and heat sources.
  • Liquid there are no pills/capsules to swallow.

After you finish taking your placenta capsules, generally around 6 weeks post-birth, you could begin taking your placenta tincture. A placenta tincture can be taken daily or as needed in times of stress. It can be taken when your menstrual cycle returns for the first time or even monthly as it says, “Hello again”. Weaning from breastfeeding is another huge transitional period where women tend to feel the effects physically, mentally, and certainly emotionally. Your placenta tincture is like your personalized “Rescue Remedy”!

 

“Through the ups and downs of hormones, introduction of solid food, growth spurts, etc., I feel very off kilter. Not like myself. I’ll become impatient, moody, and irritable. Then I remember that I have a “remedy”- my tincture! Within a day of beginning to take my placenta tincture again, I am happy, I feel good, and I have energy. I’m laughing at my kids’ spills instead of getting frustrated, I’m playing with them and enjoying life and my time with them. The tincture makes me feel like myself again! I wish every postpartum mother would take advantage of this amazing natural “remedy!” Jannine K.

First Coast Doulas certified Postpartum Placenta Specialists are with you every step of the way!

Families we’ve worked with are more than happy to declare their satisfaction with our service and their experience. We talk through the process with you and answer all of your questions thoroughly. Our specialist helps you complete the paperwork, provides a home visit along with a transport kit, and we provide follow up support for a minimum of 3 weeks. First Coast Doulas helps facilitate effective communicate with your healthcare team about your choice to encapsulate.

Providing compassionate care while upholding your privacy, First Coast Doulas makes placenta encapsulation an experience you will look back on and cherish forever!  We’re Jacksonville’s safest, most professional provider of placenta encapsulation services and our No Doubt Guarantee guarantees that!

Do you want to learn more about placenta encapsulation or get prices? Maybe you’re ready to book? Contact us today and experience what families all over Northeast Florida and Southeast Georgia are talking enjoying!

What Do Postpartum Doulas Do?

Postpartum Doulas Jax. FL
www.FirstCoastDoulas.com


What do postpartum doulas do?

Imagine for a few minutes you’ve given birth to your beautiful baby. Your baby is a few hours old. You’re exhausted, hungry for real food, and completely overjoyed with your new tiny bundle of love.

Its two days in now.

You haven’t gotten much sleep at the hospital with all the warm welcomes and nurses massaging your uterus. You and your baby are working hard on feeding, diaper changes, and getting to know each other. You are ready to get back home and rest peacefully together as a new family.

Day three.

You and your baby come home and get settled in, whatever that means to you. More family members stop by with gifts and visit for a short while. Things seem to be overwhelming; you don’t remember the books talking about this part of motherhood. The emotions, the uncertainty, the days seem to all run together now.

It’s becoming more apparent with each passing hour that having someone there to assist you with all the things would be absolutely wonderful right now.

Not just anyone though.

Someone who understands the unique needs of your newborn baby and you, the newly postpartum mother. Someone who believes in your capabilities and instincts and can encourage you and your husband/partner without judgement or their own agenda. Someone there to help you build confidence and keep your sanity, whatever that means to you. Perhaps someone to be your sounding board and shoulder.

That someone is your postpartum doula!

Right about now you’re breathing a sigh of relief knowing your postpartum doula is scheduled to come at the end of the week as your family leaves to go back home to their daily lives.

Postpartum doulas are like comfort food for your soul.

We’re like a warm cup of tea on a dreary day, the very best chocolate cake, and fresh sheets on your bed after a very long week. Postpartum doulas know life will look different from client to client and day to day. We assist with the things that take your focus away from what matters the most to you.

First Coast Doulas postpartum doulas help you enjoy your post-birth experience more! Contact us today!

Placenta Pills Are In The News Again

placenta pills are in the news again jax fl

Placenta Pills Are In the News Again

Placenta pills are in the news again for helping new moms post-birth! Women are choosing to have their placenta made into pills after they give birth. They want extra help in healing, transitioning, and the best chance to thrive post-birth.

They deserve to do that free from judgement!

As moms we’re already our own toughest critics. Am I right?

We want to be the very best version of ourselves, for ourselves and for our families. The last thing a new mom wants is judgement from others. It’s not surprising to me that many moms, probably close to half who are purchasing placenta services, are hush-hush about their decision. I get it!

New moms just want to feel good and relish the moments with their new baby!

Client’s we’ve worked with say they attribute a lot of their post-birth enjoyment to their placenta pills and their experience with us. Likewise they feel more supported and have a judgement-free place to come with questions about anything baby or body related. Additionally women we’ve worked with say that their placenta pills have helped increase their energy, build a healthier milk supply, and decrease sadness. Many have described feeling an overall sense of well-being while taking their placenta pills.

Celebrities boast better sleep, more energy, help with weight loss, help combating post-natal anxiety and depression, and help with collagen production.

While there have only been small studies done the proof is in the mouths of women all over the World.  They are shouting it from the roof tops and sharing it in the news. Others are discussing it in their parenting groups and describing the capsules as their “magic” pills.

About half of our clients are sharing openly about their decision to consume their placenta and their experience with First Coast Doulas.

They choose FC Doulas because:

  • Their privacy is highly regarded. We know the experience is theirs to share or keep private.
  • We have the very highest standards and safest practices anywhere in Jacksonville
  • They’re getting an experience, not just capsules.
  • They’re getting compassionate support and years of knowledge from professionals who are passionate about families.
  • We’re working hard to build bridges and improve the maternal healthcare system.
  • Every client we serve will know without any doubts that their capsules contain their placenta (and ultimately bloodborne pathogens) only, guaranteed.

If you have questions about placenta encapsulation we would love to walk you through our process and answer all your questions. Share our blog with your friends, your co-workers, and moms in your mom’s groups and be in the know the next time placenta pills are in the news again!

 

 

Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting Affirmations

Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting Affirmations jax placenta

Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting Affirmations

Pregnancy, birth, and parenting affirmations are one way to stay positive and feel more grounded and centered. October is the perfect month to begin a daily affirmation routine and we are going to help you get started!

The best news is you’ve already seen and used some affirmations in your everyday life. Think about those positive memes you read on social media sites and posters you see in the conference rooms, those are affirmations!

Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting Jacksonville, Placenta

Pregnancy will test your limits in every way.

In fact, pregnancy is a really great time to start a daily affirmations routine because it helps you become more positive-minded and relaxed before your upcoming birth! Being the best parent for your child begins with feeling good each day. Starting now in pregnancy will give you more time to practice before your baby is born and improves your chances of continuing your practice once your baby has made their arrival.

The last few weeks of pregnancy presents with its own set of unique challenges.

Your belly seems to bump into everything, you have to pee at least a hundred times a day, and two-hundred times at night. You’re not sleeping well and your feet hurt. It seems likely your baby can’t get here fast enough and you know this because every single person keeps asking, “Have you had that baby yet?”

During labor and birth you will do best of you are relaxed and at peace.

Affirmations are designed to do just that! There are very few times in your life when you’ll birth a baby. No matter how or where you are choosing or need to birth you’ll look back and remember the details of the day for the rest of your life. How you felt and how you were treated will matter. Creating a set of personalized affirmation cards that you really connect with to use through labor and birth is on my list of “Top 3 Must Haves For Birth”. Following right behind hiring a great doula, and taking an excellent birthing class! You, your partner, and your doula can utilize these cards in labor. Not only to help you directly, but to help yhem feel more grounded, confident, and calm indirectly influencing all who are in your birth space!

There is no harder or more rewarding job in the World than parenting!

Being a parent is not for the faint, you will be tested on every level and pushed beyond what you ever thought possible. From day #1 your life is turned upside down in a good, but crazy way. From one age and stage to the next, children change so quickly.

Affirmations help you connect with your inner self. They can help ground you and refocus you in times of stress. Taking time to practice and repeat affirmations will help you be the very best you can be for yourself and your family!

Be The Best You Can Be in Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting With Two Rules for Daily Practice:

Intention

  • Set a reminder on your phone.
  • Practice daily for a minimum of 20 minutes.
  • Make the most of your time. It allows you to be the best you that you can be.
  • Create a space as a visual commitment.
  • You have to believe what you want to achieve. When beginning your practice choose affirmations that you connect with and believe in.

Attention

  • Silence your phone
  • Set an alarm for 20 minutes and do not think about the time while practicing.
  • Practice in a way that allows you to get the most of your time. You may only use one affirmation for 20 minutes or you may focus on several.
  • Completely submerge yourself while you’re practicing.

Each day in the month of October First Coast Doulas is sharing affirmations to our Instagram account making it easy for our followers to begin or add to their daily practice! Begin today with the affirmations in the attached picture, “I am stronger than my fears!” Follow us on Instagram @ fcdoulas

Star of The Bachelorette Eats Her Placenta! Will You Do the Same?

Star of The Bachelorette Eats Her Placenta, placenta encapsulation jax, fl

Star of The Bachelorette Eats Her Placenta! Will You Do the Same?

Star of The Bachelorette eats her placenta, will you? That’s a question many pregnant moms are asking themselves and each other. Okay, hold on just one minute, first let’s address the verbiage used. And you can say eat, ingest, consume, whatever your preference is just go with it for a few minutes. I encourge you to stay open-minded!

With the recent news of Jillian Harris (stared on The Bachelor & Bachelorette) blogging about her personal experience with placenta encapsulation and Anna Williamson sharing her plans to ingest her placenta I decided now is the perfect time to release the results of the poll First Coast Doulas did earlier this year. We polled 25 people about their personal experience with placenta encapsulation with First Coast Doulas.

 

Star of The Bachelorette Eats Her Placenta jacksonville, FL
Star of The Bachelorette Eats Her Placenta capsules, jax
Star of The Bachelorette Eats Her Placenta jax placenta

I find that this poll and the results are extremely powerful! A win for families!

The only down side to what Jillian mentions in her blog and Anna mentions in her interview is the pickup of their placentas and drop-off of their pills, because again, those are not the standards by which First Coast Doulas or our certifying organization operates. I’m sorry, not sorry. I can’t let you leave here without mentioning it’s simply isn’t the highest standards, but whatev! To each their own?!

There are a few things I often tell people about placenta encapsulation.

First, professional placenta encapsulation with First Coast Doulas is like an insurance policy for after birth. When done properly it can’t hurt you, only help you! You may feel great after birth and in the weeks and months to come, or you may not. There are no do overs, once your placenta is gone, it’s gone!

Secondly, it’s the service everyone is purchasing, but not many people are talking about! Other celebrities have spoken out, and about half of our clients share openly. For every one of them who share though there those who that stay private about it, because let’s face it, who wants to be judged or questioned after they give birth? Noone!

Placenta encapsulation is that little buffer, and who doesn’t need that?!

First Coast Doulas has the highest standards in place for our clients. We’re the very safest in the Jacksonville, FL area and we deliver the best experience, not just a service.

The star of The Bachelorette eats her placenta, and if you are considering the same, or just have questions, contact us today and let us tell you more about this placenta encapsulation!

Star of The Bachelorette Eats Her Placenta jax placenta

 

Your Placenta; A Modern Approach to an Age Old Practice

your placenta Jax FL | Jacksonville FL placenta encapsulation
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Your Placenta: A Modern Approach to an Age Old Practice

Your placenta is a modern day marvel! Perhaps you’ve taken a class that talked briefly about the placenta. Maybe you’ve read about the function of your placenta in relation to pregnancy. It carries oxygenated blood and nutrients to the baby. In addition it carries waste and de-oxygenated blood away from the baby and then exits the body through the mother. Many moms have heard the term “placenta previa”, “placenta acreta” or “low-lying placenta”. You probably know that your placenta must function and be healthy to grow and sustain your baby. Has told you that your placenta can be taken as an all-natural supplement after giving birth to your baby? You totally can!

More and more women are learning about their placenta and the “magic” it holds!

Now, I know this may seem a little odd, maybe even a little gross initally, but stick with me for a moment. What many people don’t know about the human placenta is that everyday moms just like you are hiring professionals to dry, powder, and put their placentas into a small capsule supplement to ingest in the weeks after they give birth.

Wait, what?

Go ahead, take a moment to process that. Most people need to think on it for at least a few minutes!

Now, I know you have questions. We have answers! First question is always, “Why?” Why in the world would anyone want to ingest/eat their placenta? I’m talking about the very popular, age old practice that is gaining modern day attention! The practice of placenta encapsulation.

Women who take their placenta internally in the weeks after giving birth boast that their capsules are their “magic pills”. The say they enjoyed the process and their post-birth experience more!

Number one benefit women report is energy! Noticeable energy!

They also say their placenta capsules contributed to their healthy breastmilk supply. Many moms are surprised that they also experience fewer bouts of crying and sadness as expected or experienced with past births. Your placenta can be beneficial in the fight against postpartum mood disorders like the postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. So that’s the why!

By now you’re probably feeling a little less grossed out and little more intrigued.

Another question is how?! Basically after giving birth to your baby you have to give birth to your placenta. It is the only organ your body grows that is temporary. You grow and birth a new one with each baby! Your placenta is examined after birth and then it’s either discarded as medical waste, used for other things such as cosmetics and hair-care products, or your placenta can be used to make a completely unique-to-you supplement! One that when handled, stored, and prepared properly can only help you not hurt you! It can help you feel more balanced and an overall sense of well-being.

Your placenta can help you enjoy your newest family member even more!

Ingesting your placenta in capsule form isn’t really that far-fetched now is it? After all, almost every mammal on the face of the Earth ingests their placenta after birth! The only difference here is that you have the convenience of a socially acceptable capsule and a professional to provide this service to you in the safest way possible! Benefits of placenta encapsulation can begin within a few days post-birth and can last anywhere from 4 weeks up till about a year!

Just imagine that, a post-birth boost that last up until about your baby’s 1st birthday!

For more information about the process or to find a Certified Postpartum Placenta Specialist in your area please contact us! We look forward to answering your questions!