Secrets to Having Great Sex When Your Baby Is Nearby

Secrets to Having Great Sex When Your Baby Is Nearby Jax FL | Best Doulas Jax FL

Secrets to Having Great Sex when Your Baby Is Nearby

Are there really secrets to having great sex when your baby is nearby? In the beginning new parents sometimes feel disconnected from sex while others do not skip a beat. Both are completely normal, not everyone is ready to engage in sex again at the same time. As long as you aren’t staying in valley too long or taking risks with your health and body in those early weeks, where you fall on the scale is probably pretty normal! For most parents if you want to have time for sex you have to make time, and get creative! You might be wondering if having sex when your baby is nearby by is even possible, it totally is!

So let’s just get right down to business so you can get down to business! Sex is a normal, healthy part of life. It can give you a release that is healing and helpful. Sex can be centered on your partner with no interest in self-gratification too. Sex is about connection, not always about orgasms and thrills! You can learn so much about yourself and your partner during sex through open communication and a trust.

Secrets to Having Great Sex When Your Baby Is Nearby #1:

Extra Nap or Nap Extended!

Routines and schedules are proven to be beneficial. Sometimes though it’s perfectly healthy to let go of the routine and be “spontaneous”. Let your baby take an extra nap or sleep another hour now and again and engage in some adult activity! It can break up the monotony and create little sparks here and there! Heck maybe even enjoy a glass of wine while you’re at it!

Secrets to Having Great Sex When Your Baby Is Nearby #2:

Room Divider for Room Sharing, not Sex Shaming!

For the room sharing parents, if “All Eyez on Me,” isn’t your thing don’t worry! You don’t need to be Tupac Shakur to feel the “Changes” that parenthood brings! [Cheesy rapper references used] Younger infants have exactly no idea what sex is, no remembrance of their parents bouncing and moaning, and there have been no studies to ever show it will have any effects on them whatsoever.

If your infants tiny eyes are making it hard for you or your partner to disconnect from the rational part of your brains, the neocortex, and slip into the primal, instinctual part of your brain, the Limbic system then a blind fold or room divider are cheap and easy ways to take eyes off your infant and connect with your partner!

Secrets to Having Great Sex When Your Baby Is Nearby #3:

Make Play time, “Playtime”!

As parents we are ALWAYS looking for ways to get a damn shower! Instead of engaging in playtime with your baby today or this hour, why not make shower time double duty?! Put baby in his/her rock n play or bouncer in the bathroom, grab your favorite water proof vibrator, or you know your partner if he/she is home, and jump in the shower! Great sex can happen alone too! A quickie in the shower while your baby plays safely in ear and eye shot from you can be exhilarating as well as refreshing! Double the pleasure!

First Coast Doulas knows you’re human. You have desires, and sometimes no desire! We know what it’s like to need time with your partner, alone! As postpartum doulas we help parents live the healthiest lives possible. Sex is important, kids are important, your marriage or partnership is important, and YOU are important!

At First Coast Doulas our brand is built on the motto, “First Love Yourself,” and we mean it! It’s ok to put your needs and desires first sometimes, your kids will have happier parents because of it; your family will be healthier because you loved yourself first!

Happy birth and parenting from the best doulas in Jax. FL

 

Down Syndrome Etiquette

Down syndrome Etiquette Jax, FL Childbirth Education

Down Syndrome Etiquette

Down syndrome etiquette is important and is blog worthy! Please take 5 minutes out of your day to read and share this with others on any platform you can. Approximately one in every 700 babies in the United States is born with Down syndrome , making Down syndrome the most common chromosomal condition. Yet there’s still a stigma surrounding Down syndrome (DS).

First Coast Doulas knows it’s super important to be respectful of other humans along their journey in life.

It’s very frustrating for me and many others when we hear people say certain things about people with DS. Frustration doesn’t help change things, but being an advocate and an ally does. So, I decided to write this blog about Down syndrome etiquette to help others who may be confused about what to say or may unknowingly be saying things that are offensive or hurtful to others, yes, even those without Down syndrome.

I’m always learning new things and asking important questions like;

  • What can I do when I hear x, y, and z?
  • What do you want others to know about Down syndrome?
  • What it’s like living with Down syndrome or raising children who were born DS?

One thing I can tell you is that our words matter!

Being a parent is exhausting. Being a parent or caregiver to a person who has DS is double duty exhausting. Not only are they raising their child, they’re likely attending therapy appointments (occupational, speech, and physical) with their children, and being advocates for all people with Down Syndrome. It should be no surprise that sometimes they don’t have the “extra” energy to correct others. To be honest, the responsibility falls on us as individuals to do better and treat people with respect.

Here are some things to consider:

“Downs baby” versus “baby with Down syndrome”, “She has Downs” versus “She has Down syndrome” 

DS doesn’t define who a person is. Think about something you don’t like about yourself and put a name or term on it and imagine how you would feel if every time someone referred to you they said, “Fat Lady”, or “Ugly Man”. It hurts, it’s in appropriate, and it makes the person saying it look like a complete jerk.

Using the terms “retard” or “retarded” or saying it in any context is insulting and completely inappropriate. Even when not referring to Down syndrome the implication remains. If you’re using this term, stop it! Not sure how to stop?

  1. Make a habit of stopping and thinking before you speak.
  2. If you slip up and catch yourself using this term correct yourself and then apologize out loud for your wrong doing. Don’t overlook it and move on; “promising” yourself you won’t do it again. Nope!
  3. Correct others politely without apology. Not saying something still says something. Think about that.

Saying children with DS are the “happiest children you ever met” is offensive.

Saying that they are “the happiest children” implies that they don’t have feelings. That their parents have it easy. It implies that children with DS don’t ever cry nor have bad days. This is quite the opposite; remember DS doesn’t define a person. They have good and bad days and struggles and challenges like everyone else. Parenting is not easy, parenting children with Down syndrome; you guessed it, still not easy!

Appropriately, “cognitive disability” has replaced “mental retardation”

It’s Down syndrome, not Down’s syndrome. The person who named the condition did not have Down syndrome. An “apostrophe s” implies ownership or possession.

DS is not contagious, it’s a condition. You either have DS or you don’t.

Referring to someone with Down syndrome as “special” or asking if they do the same things as “normal” kids should be avoided.

We’re all special and unique. Comparing a child with DS to other “normal” kids implies they are abnormal! People with and without Down syndrome are more alike than different. Say it and repeat it! They are strong, smart, funny, and capable of great things, just as you are!

If you know someone who has a child with Down syndrome, please do not forget the siblings!

Despite being typical siblings at home who play together, share secrets, and argue, when they are out of the house they become fierce protectors of their siblings. Despite being fierce, it’s nice to have others recognize them, to spoil them a little, to see their light shine as individuals, not just the sisters or brothers to the kids who have DS.

I often find myself thinking what I would hope for if I had Down syndrome. I believe I would want to be heard, valued, respected, and accepted so I could enjoy life a little more and worry a little less!

Come to think of it isn’t that what all of us want in life?                           #morealikethandifferent #homieswithextrachromies #t21 #downsyndromeawareness

I hope that this blog was well received by you and by those who you share this with! We want to hear from you in the comments below or email us at info@firstcoastdoulas.com

Resources for our readers:

National Down syndrome Society  http://www.ndss.org/

Local to Jax., FL: Down Syndrome Association of Jacksonville https://dsaj.org/

Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting Affirmations

Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting Affirmations jax placenta

Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting Affirmations

Pregnancy, birth, and parenting affirmations are one way to stay positive and feel more grounded and centered. October is the perfect month to begin a daily affirmation routine and we are going to help you get started!

The best news is you’ve already seen and used some affirmations in your everyday life. Think about those positive memes you read on social media sites and posters you see in the conference rooms, those are affirmations!

Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting Jacksonville, Placenta

Pregnancy will test your limits in every way.

In fact, pregnancy is a really great time to start a daily affirmations routine because it helps you become more positive-minded and relaxed before your upcoming birth! Being the best parent for your child begins with feeling good each day. Starting now in pregnancy will give you more time to practice before your baby is born and improves your chances of continuing your practice once your baby has made their arrival.

The last few weeks of pregnancy presents with its own set of unique challenges.

Your belly seems to bump into everything, you have to pee at least a hundred times a day, and two-hundred times at night. You’re not sleeping well and your feet hurt. It seems likely your baby can’t get here fast enough and you know this because every single person keeps asking, “Have you had that baby yet?”

During labor and birth you will do best of you are relaxed and at peace.

Affirmations are designed to do just that! There are very few times in your life when you’ll birth a baby. No matter how or where you are choosing or need to birth you’ll look back and remember the details of the day for the rest of your life. How you felt and how you were treated will matter. Creating a set of personalized affirmation cards that you really connect with to use through labor and birth is on my list of “Top 3 Must Haves For Birth”. Following right behind hiring a great doula, and taking an excellent birthing class! You, your partner, and your doula can utilize these cards in labor. Not only to help you directly, but to help yhem feel more grounded, confident, and calm indirectly influencing all who are in your birth space!

There is no harder or more rewarding job in the World than parenting!

Being a parent is not for the faint, you will be tested on every level and pushed beyond what you ever thought possible. From day #1 your life is turned upside down in a good, but crazy way. From one age and stage to the next, children change so quickly.

Affirmations help you connect with your inner self. They can help ground you and refocus you in times of stress. Taking time to practice and repeat affirmations will help you be the very best you can be for yourself and your family!

Be The Best You Can Be in Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting With Two Rules for Daily Practice:

Intention

  • Set a reminder on your phone.
  • Practice daily for a minimum of 20 minutes.
  • Make the most of your time. It allows you to be the best you that you can be.
  • Create a space as a visual commitment.
  • You have to believe what you want to achieve. When beginning your practice choose affirmations that you connect with and believe in.

Attention

  • Silence your phone
  • Set an alarm for 20 minutes and do not think about the time while practicing.
  • Practice in a way that allows you to get the most of your time. You may only use one affirmation for 20 minutes or you may focus on several.
  • Completely submerge yourself while you’re practicing.

Each day in the month of October First Coast Doulas is sharing affirmations to our Instagram account making it easy for our followers to begin or add to their daily practice! Begin today with the affirmations in the attached picture, “I am stronger than my fears!” Follow us on Instagram @ fcdoulas

Star of The Bachelorette Eats Her Placenta! Will You Do the Same?

Star of The Bachelorette Eats Her Placenta, placenta encapsulation jax, fl

Star of The Bachelorette Eats Her Placenta! Will You Do the Same?

Star of The Bachelorette eats her placenta, will you? That’s a question many pregnant moms are asking themselves and each other. Okay, hold on just one minute, first let’s address the verbiage used. And you can say eat, ingest, consume, whatever your preference is just go with it for a few minutes. I encourge you to stay open-minded!

With the recent news of Jillian Harris (stared on The Bachelor & Bachelorette) blogging about her personal experience with placenta encapsulation and Anna Williamson sharing her plans to ingest her placenta I decided now is the perfect time to release the results of the poll First Coast Doulas did earlier this year. We polled 25 people about their personal experience with placenta encapsulation with First Coast Doulas.

 

Star of The Bachelorette Eats Her Placenta jacksonville, FL
Star of The Bachelorette Eats Her Placenta capsules, jax
Star of The Bachelorette Eats Her Placenta jax placenta

I find that this poll and the results are extremely powerful! A win for families!

The only down side to what Jillian mentions in her blog and Anna mentions in her interview is the pickup of their placentas and drop-off of their pills, because again, those are not the standards by which First Coast Doulas or our certifying organization operates. I’m sorry, not sorry. I can’t let you leave here without mentioning it’s simply isn’t the highest standards, but whatev! To each their own?!

There are a few things I often tell people about placenta encapsulation.

First, professional placenta encapsulation with First Coast Doulas is like an insurance policy for after birth. When done properly it can’t hurt you, only help you! You may feel great after birth and in the weeks and months to come, or you may not. There are no do overs, once your placenta is gone, it’s gone!

Secondly, it’s the service everyone is purchasing, but not many people are talking about! Other celebrities have spoken out, and about half of our clients share openly. For every one of them who share though there those who that stay private about it, because let’s face it, who wants to be judged or questioned after they give birth? Noone!

Placenta encapsulation is that little buffer, and who doesn’t need that?!

First Coast Doulas has the highest standards in place for our clients. We’re the very safest in the Jacksonville, FL area and we deliver the best experience, not just a service.

The star of The Bachelorette eats her placenta, and if you are considering the same, or just have questions, contact us today and let us tell you more about this placenta encapsulation!

Star of The Bachelorette Eats Her Placenta jax placenta

 

An Alligator, Gorilla, and A Coward Walked Into A Bar

An Alligator, Gorilla, and A Coward Walked Into A Bar

An Alligator, Gorilla, and A Coward Walked Into A Bar

An Alligator, Gorilla, and A Coward Walked Into A Bar

While the tragic events that have happened recently are no joke, the way many are responding is. What kind of people judge others on their parenting skills and for the love they have for another human being? Since when has judgement trumped love and compassion? What good can come from throwing stones, name calling, and finger pointing?

We have no right to judge. Have we forgotten that we are not perfect, that we make mistakes, every damn one of us? You are an imperfect person, we are all imperfect people!

What nightmare are we living here?

We are humans, but we’ve become apex predators, more violent than any wild animal. This is our reality and it’s not good at all. The animals are being animals. The children free-spirited, fearless, and learning through play. Our children play, explore, and are curious!

Most people love their children, even those facing drug addiction and debilitating mental disorders. Majority of the time they do not want harm to come to their children.

We have a responsibility to our children. Physical, emotional, and intellectual well-being. Sometimes that is holding their hand every step of the way and other times it means letting go and being there, close by when they ask or need for our help. Have you survived teen years yet?!

We have marriages, mortgage payments, other children, jobs, sick or dying loved ones, and ourselves to care for too!

Meanwhile we parent with life in motion, while juggling work, while balancing life!

You take a quick phone call quick while they play in the tub.

You engage in conversation about the big game last night with another father at the park while you kids disappear from your direct line of sight for a few chaotic minutes.

You let your baby keep that blankie with them as they finally fall asleep on their tummy after hours and hours of crying with no sleep. You dare not risk waking him.

You allow an older, more responsible sibling to take your youngest to the potty who can’t hold it at a restaurant while you deal with your infant who just projectile vomited in the car seat.

You allow your child to run around with a lollipop so they will stop screaming so you can have five damn minutes to gather your thoughts after getting the news your mother has cancer.

You come out of the bathroom to find your toddler has learned operate the child locks and has bleach in her hand or how to get out on the back patio near the pool which he could easily have fell into.

These are situations where accidents could have happened, and they have happened.

Most of us have had a baby fall from a bed. Could we have done more? Maybe! Are kids going to be kids? Yes! Are parents going to make mistakes? Oh hell yes we do, don’t insert “but” here. No buts! Accidents do happen!

Your child could have been these children, you could have been those parents, we all could have been. So please, stop! Stop the judgement and hate, choose love!

Humans have become more predatorily than wild animals. More deaths occur in our country every year than all accidental deaths by animals combine.

So an alligator, gorilla, and a coward walked into a bar and all hell broke loose. This animal disguised as a person took the hate and anger he had for himself and projected it onto others. He killed so many for no reason other than hate. What he did was heartless and senseless, but prepare to see more of this hate if we do not decide to change.

It starts with you, it starts with me. It starts with stopping!

We are all mirrors! What we say, do, and project onto others is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Are your words kind and compassionate or full of hate and judgement?

I know you’ve heard these: sometimes less is more, those who live in glasses houses shouldn’t throw stones, and two wrongs don’t make a right. We are responsible for our actions, our words, and our thoughts. Perhaps we judge less and love more!

Feel, think, process… then respond!

Hate breeds hate. Love changes things! Choose love!

 

Our colleagues at Hampton Roads Doulas also wrote a fantastic blog. Please go over and show them some love too!

Which Animal Mom Are You Most Like?

Which Animal Mom Are You Most Like?

Which Animal Mom Are You Most Like best doulas in jax

Which animal mom are you most like?

Are you exhausted from lack of sleep and gain a ton during pregnancy? Do you move a lot, birth submerged, share parenting duties, or go without meals?! These animal mothers are awe inspiring!

Which mom do you relate most to?

Tell us in the comment section of the blog! If you know more animal mother behaviors that are comment worthy we’d love to learn from you!

 

Orangutan

Highly intelligent, the orangutan is the ultimate D.I.Y. mom. She spends almost her entire life up high  in the trees. Orangutan moms build a new nest every night from branches and foliage. She creates more than 30,000 homes in her lifetime! Do you find yourself moving around often? Perhaps you are a military family or just like a change of scenery every so often? Thank goodness it’s not every night! Although sometimes scrapping it and just starting over sounds refreshing!

She also generally nurses her offspring until they reach the age or 6 or 7 years old! Have you had an extended breastfeeding relationship? Orangutan’s practice the longest nursing dependency of any animal on Earth.

Emperor Penguins

Emperor penguin moms and dads alternate roles while raising a single baby. Either mom or dad will hunt for food while they other stays at “home” to keep the baby warm and protected. Do you and your partner both work and share all responsibilities equally?

Polar Bears

The polar bear mom-to-be puts on about 400 pounds during pregnancy! That’s a lot of “baby weight”! I wonder how many other polar bears ask her if she is expecting triplets or comment on how she must be about to pop?! Did you experience rude comments during your pregnancy like so many other expectant mothers? 

After packing on the pounds, the polar bear mom has one of the easiest labors known. She fashions a maternity den in a snowdrift normally. Then she enters a hibernation-like state and “sleeps” through the baby’s birth. Can you imagine? Did you or are you planning to hypnobirth? That’s about as close to a hibernation-like state as we human moms can get while birthing!

 

Giant Pacific Octopus

A female octopus has one goal in life: to have one successful brood of eggs. Have you always dreamed of becoming a mother? The Giant Pacific Octopus will lay between 20,000- 100,000 eggs in her lair and defend them at any cost. Are you a fierce protector?

During the time caring for her eggs, the female is starved almost to death. She may even ingest one of her own arms before she’d consider leaving her eggs to get food. Would you give your arm to protect your kids? Have you given up your own plate of food more times than you’d like to count so that your kids can have seconds? Sometimes it’s just not worth the fight! Giant Pacific Octopus die soon after the birth of her babies, leaving behind a legacy to carry on! We sure our lucky that our design is different, we get to lug our babes around in our womb and get our eat on.

 

Killer Whales and Bottlenose Dolphins

Talk about sleep deprivation, these calves don’t sleep for an entire month after birth. You know what that means, neither do their mothers. How fun?! NOT! I think we can all relate to feeling like we haven’t slept in a month, I bet these moms could use a overnight doula!

The sleeping patterns of captive killer whales and bottlenose dolphins were examined. It was determined that the “exceptional wakefulness of newborn whales and dolphins has no ill-effect on their development”. Well, was there a study done on sleep deprived mothers? This takes the, “sleep when baby sleeps” saying to whole new level! Extreme mothering level achieved!

Their study showed that Killer Whales and Bottlenose Dolphins, and their mothers, avoided obstacles, swam continuously and surfaced repeatedly for air 24 hours a day for the first month of life. Mothering, the ultimate responsibility!

 

Harp Seal

A mother harp seal identifies her baby from hundreds of other babies based on smell alone? Did you fall in love with your baby’s unique smell? Your baby’s sweet aroma triggers the release of oxytocin (the love hormone)and tiggers emotions of joy and fierce protection!

The pups don’t have any blubber at birth, but quickly gain weight nursing on high-fat mother’s milk. Was your baby born perfectly on the smaller side? Did she quickly gain mama milk rolls? 

During mating season male harp seals will dance to get the best mate. Did your partner’s hot dance moves win you over?

 

Hippopotamus

A mother hippopotamus will sometimes give birth to her baby underwater. When she does she helps the baby to the surface so he can breathe. A mother hippopotamus must fight off intense predators like lions, crocodiles, and even the male hippopotamus that only attacks the babies in water, not on land. Did you labor or give birth to your baby in the water?

In areas undisturbed by people, hippos lie on the shore soaking up the morning sun. Are you a sun goddess who prefers to spend her time perched beautifully on the shore too?

A mother’s love for her children is immeasurable and unconditional. We protect fiercely and put their needs before our own. Whether we are animal or human we are a force to be reckoned with! Which animal mom are you most like? Leave us a comment below!

First Coast Placenta Services, What’s That About?!

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First Coast Doulas has expanded!

Our professionalism, safe practices, and compassion make us extraordinary! People, including healthcare providers love the way we’re providing placenta encapsulation. This part of First Coast Doulas has grown so much so that we’ve decided to branch into First Coast Placenta! We unveiled at The Prego Expo in Jax. this past Sunday!

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Have you ever heard of placenta encapsulation?

Yes? No? Well, let me tell you all about it!

After birthing your baby you will also birth your placenta. The placenta is the life sustaining element between yourself and your baby. Many women give very little thought, if any to their placenta. It’s not uncommon to think back on your birth and wonder how you didn’t see it, since after all you birthed it.

Your placenta is discarded as medical waste, used in cosmetic products, and even used in stem cell research. OR it can be used to nourish the mother after birth. Full of nutrients it’s made perfectly by you, for you!

Bizarre I know!

Not only is it not gross or weird at all, but it also makes complete sense if you really think about it!

In very simple terms placenta encapsulation is a process which involves making an all natural supplement from one’s own placenta. The placenta is handled respectfully, and in a safe manner, dried, ground into a powder, and put into capsules. The placenta capsules are made for the woman who grew it, not anyone else. Your capsules last approximately six weeks and after that, if you had a tincture made you can use that to extend the benefits!

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Benefits Include:

  • lowering the risk or symptoms of postpartum depression and anxiety
  • helps boost your milk supply
  • reduces bleeding and helps your body heal faster
  • #1 reported benefit- Energy

How is First Coast Placenta doing things differently?!

First Coast Placenta not only follows the strictest guidelines and highest standards, is dual trained and certified, and upholds our ethical responsibilities, but we also provide an added layer of protection.

First Coast Placenta’s No Doubt Policy guarantees and that the placenta your ingesting (taking into your body by mouth) is yours and noone else’s.

Our clients trust us to handle their placenta with great care, to honor their placenta, and to stay up to date on new information as it becomes available, but we’re the only ones in Jacksonville that can guarantee the placenta our clients ingest is their own because our clients remain in possession of their placenta at all times, every time.

Every encapsulation we do happens in the client’s home only, every time.

When we are hired we meet our clients face to face, provide a transport kit, paperwork, and a way to discuss their decision with their provide. Healthcare workers love the way we are providing this and many our trusting us to handle their placenta encapsulation because they love that we set the highest standards in Jacksonville, Florida.

Your birth team will bag and label your placenta and you don’t have to see it at all, unless you want to, in which case you just ask. You, your partner, mother, or other family member takes your placenta home within 24 hours after birth and put it in the fridge. You contact us and we schedule a time to come to your home to put your placenta into capsules!

Yep, in your own home!

REMEMBER- you can be as involved (view or handle your placenta), or as removed (you don’t have to see it at all) from the process as you wish to be.

Our clients love safety, transparency, and how much thought we put into the experience!

We provide this service to first time moms and fifth time moms alike. Most of our clients are moms that have given birth before. They tell us that this time around they would like help healing and feeling better faster than before and they aren’t writing off placenta capsules for sake of the “weird” factor.

First Coast Placenta has taken the weird right out of it!

We tell all of our clients that these are the non-magic, magical pills! You still need to set yourself up for the best fourth trimester possible. Placenta capsules work best in conjunction with taking care of yourself during those first six weeks after birth.

Placenta encapsulation with First Coast Placenta is affordable and starts at just $250 which can be broken into two payments.

First Coast Placenta bringing love, energy, and healing after birth!

Delivery Room Etiquette

Delivery Room Etiquette

Delivery Room Etiquette best doulas in jax

Wedding and delivery room etiquette blogs are becoming more popular for good reason. This blog goes right along with some of the benefits of hiring a doula to support you and your partner while you’re giving birth to your baby. This blog was inspired by the above linked blog!

 

To Rest or Not to Rest

Your doula can give your partner a rest. Your doula actually helps both you and your partner to get sleep and rest that’s beneficial through-out labor. yes, sleep and rest in labor. It looks different at different stages in labor and depending upon the couple’s needs.

Phone Calls or Power Off

Your doula phones home! She can reply to text messages or stay with you while your partner steps away to update family and friends if that is needed. Your mom, mother in law, best friend, and sister all need an update. You don’t have to choose, your doula is happy to help in several ways to support your birth experience!

Paparazzi or Nah

If you opt to not to have a professional photographer join your team in the delivery room your doula is happy to snap the pictures you want and leave off the rest. Sometimes support is holding your hand and helping you remain “in the zone” and sometimes it’s getting pictures using your camera or phone, we have you covered!

Feeling Faint

Doulas are there to support your partner too, our top priority is to support you both in the way that is best for you specifically. That may look like hip squeezes and counter-pressure through a few contractions and getting your partner a cool glass of water and a fan in between.

Complaints or Compliments

Partners bust their ass! They are expected to be and do so much through pregnancy, labor and birth. Hold down the calls and texts, carry the bags, get your drink, hold your leg, stroke your skin, take care of older siblings, and stay awake. All of that with no complaints! They are amazing, but doulas are there so your partner can be an intricate part of the birth experience. With a doula there to support and help lighten the expected load your partner is able to attune to you and be “in the moment”.

T.V. On or Off

Let’s face it, if your partner is a sports fan and it’s on television they may be apt to watch the game or at least the highlights. Perhaps it’s the love of the game, or perhaps it’s just needing a way to release and refocus. Doulas have you covered so mom is not alone when she needs support and you don’t have to feel guilty for stepping away for 5 minutes.

Advocate or Support

The last piece to the “delivery room etiquette” puzzle: no one takes the birthing woman’s voice from her. Her voice is powerful and can be a source empowerment for the mother. Often times people say my doula stopped my doctor from x, y, and z. Doulas have a non-medical scope of practice and we have one job, one very important, underestimated job. Our job is to support! Support, period. That is not to say we can’t help the mother articulate with her own words her wishes and desire. We do not argue with care providers or “make sure” things are done as outlined. We will remind you of your wishes, validate your feelings, and help you find your own words!

Delivery room etiquette can be easily achieved with First Coast Doulas by your side! Our clients love the unique support they receive. Your birth experience is one you will carry with you for a lifetime.  With First Coast Doulas you will gain confidence and feel supported on your path to birth and parenting.

 

Lip and Tongue Tie, Breastfeeding, and Circumcision

Lip and Tongue Tie, Breastfeeding, and Circumcision

I often use the term doula and refer to the doula as she, but there are many professional doulas who are men.

 

Lip and Tongue Tie, Breastfeeding, and Circumcision Jacksonville Florida

When couples hire a doula they believe that non-judgmental support comes standard.

However, that is not always the case. Lip and tongue tie, breastfeeding, and circumcision along with vaccines and ear piercing are hot topics that come up often in doula work, but not for the reasons you might think. Parents have questions about these things sometimes, and others know exactly what they want. It’s not the parents of the babies who have issues with these topics most of the time. It’s also not the professional doulas who have an issue with these topics as they relate to their clients. So who then has issues with them? Birth junkies, birth avengers, activists, and intactivists disguising themselves as doulas are the ones who have problems with these topics.

What do those terms mean exactly? Let me give a brief synopsis of each.

Birth junkie: someone who is dependent upon or obsessed with the high they get from being present at births.

The “birth junkies” call themselves this, it’s weird! A birth junkie will do all they can to be fulfilled from your birth, whatever that means to them! They might offer to come to your birth without being asked or paid. A birth junkie might make a couple feel as though they “need” a doula to have a satisfying birth experience. Those birthing without doulas have something to say about that arrogant mindset.

Birth avenger: someone wants to make right (by their terms) the wrongs that were done to them during birth through your birth experience.

A birth avenger has experienced something personally that has affected her deeply. So much so that she’ll do whatever it takes not to let it happen to you. Yikes! Seeing a therapist might be a better option for a birth avenger, bringing her own issue to your birth space seems very selfish and is unprofessional.

Activist: someone who opposes or goes against a choice made by you and your partner or suggested by your provider because an activist believes that by doing so she is rallying for a greater good.

An activist may continue to feed you information on a subject you have already made a decision on, in effort to sway your decision to an “informed” one. She would even go so far to get between you and your partner on the matter. She’d never say it, but she’ll try to make you feel as though she just knows better than you! They’re huge on pushing informed consent and evidenced-based information onto you. They don’t quite know when to back off. Activists think it’s their job to “inform” you of everything, everything you are doing different than she would that is!

Intactivist: a person who participates in an activist group or as an individual for the rights of children to remain genitally intact.

They’re anti-circumcision under all circumstances and even have some irritating words to share about piercing baby girl’s ears, yes even for your child. Funny though, while they are very openly anti-circumcision they seem to be fine with having lip and tongue tie revisions. Revisions consists of a clipping or using a laser to release/cut the frenulum (the bit of tissue holding down the tongue, and with lip tie it connects the lip to the gums at center in front).

So where does First Coast Doulas stand on lip and tongue ties, breastfeeding, and circumcision?

Right where we belong alongside you! Away from those disguising themselves as doulas, supporting you in your choices as new parents! We attune and stay as emotionally connected to our clients as they need during our time working with them. We are not emotionally invested in your choices though, because we are professionals. We know where to find evidence-based information, but won’t cram it down your throats.

We’re not birth junkies, activists, birth avengers, or intactivists. We know that every family has different needs, desires, and circumstances. We respect your decision, always! We are not apologetic for that. In fact isn’t that the way it should be?  We don’t bring our feelings about any of that into your space, ever!

We know that your experience is neither our experience nor our place to inject our feelings, thoughts, or ideas about how we would do things. First Coast Doulas knows that every decision our clients make for themselves and their babies in birth and parenting are made out of love for their children, we support that. Informed or just winging it Love wins!

Pregnancy, birth, and parenting are tough. Making decisions one way or another on lip and tongue tie, breastfeeding, and circumcision and hard ones. Why make it harder than it has to be?

Two questions you can ask when hiring a doula are:

  • What is your philosophy on birth and parenting?
  • What one word describes what you do as a doula?

In addition you could ask more specific questions about topics you want answers on. As they answer tune into their responses and see what your gut instincts tell you!

Hire First Coast Doulas today, skip the drama, and enter parenthood confidently. Get the support you deserve when hiring a doula!

Lip and Tongue Tie, Breastfeeding, and Circumcision Jacksonville Florida

 

Our Fur Baby Died, If I Had a Doula that Day

Our Fur Baby Died, If I Had a Doula that Day

Our Fur Baby Died, If I Had a Doula that Day

Over the years I knew that the day would come we would have to say goodbye to our sweet baby. I knew that his average lifespan was only 10-12 years, but the heart never really prepares for such loss.

It was a long week, one of the longest yet shortest weeks of my life.

He had been sick and the medicines were not helping him improve. His quality of life was poor and it was no way to live. He was our fur baby and he was committed to our family. He was a chocolate Labrador retriever, his name was Bud.

I know many of you are animals lovers and can relate to the love I had for my fur baby! At times he aggravated me, but he filled a space in my heart that will always belong to him. He just knew me and understood me like no human could! He never licked my toes, he moved before my feet touched the floor in the morning and before I could ever raise my voice he would get up and exit the room, somehow he just knew. 

Our fur babies look at us with eyes so innocent and loving that they really our our babies, just like our kids.

He comforted me when my mother died. He made sure no one ever got through our gate without notifying me first. As I labored alone at home for hours with our last child he was my faithful companion. I did hip circles on my birth ball and he lay in front of me, breathing in the other direction as not to aggravate me. He played happily with our children and his tennis ball was all he ever asked for. He was the first to greet me, and the last to want anything other than love from me.

Our fur baby died, if I had a doula that day she would have validated my feelings and reasons for choosing to euthanize him in a more peaceful way. He had congestive heart failure, he wasn’t going to improve. He was old, he lived a great life! It was a Friday, my daughter and I were alone at home Bud. Our boys were in school and my husband at work. If I didn’t take him in he would have suffered a long weekend.

I couldn’t be selfish, but if I only had a doula she could have helped me talk through this.

Our fur baby died, if I had a doula that day she would’ve been in the know. She would’ve provided me with information support and called the vets in town and who offers the best end of life care for pets. She would have taken some final pictures of me, my daughter, and our fur baby. She would have helped me take him for a last swim! She would have reminded me it was o.k to slow down and take my time if I wanted to.

My doula would’ve sat with our five year old daughter in the other room while I held our other baby as he left this world. She would’ve helped our daughter see that just as birth is normal, death is also normal and can supported and cherished.

If I had a doula she would have held my hand as my daughter and I walked through the store to select flowers to decorate his grave. She could’ve phoned my husband to let him know what was going on, he tried hard to make it home, but couldn’t.

She would have handed me tissues and helped my daughter interacted with the cashier instead of me. The stares I received walking through the store were almost too unbearable for me. I rarely cry and when I do it’s not in front of others, but our daughter wanted greatly to select flowers for our fur baby’s grave.

She could have held me as I sobbed uncontrollably after burying him. It would have been nice to have someone bring me a glass of water on that hot day, and reminded me that it was going to be o.k.

I’m also 100% positive that if I wanted educational support she would have led me to unbiased resources and if I didn’t want those she wouldn’t force those upon me. Some people just don’t want the education or research sometimes.

Could I have done this without her? Sure, because I did it without her. But, the day our baby died, if I had a doula not only would I have felt completely supported and loved, but my family would have too!