Posts in category what if my birth doesn’t go as planned

Birth Methods Suck

 birth methods suck | childbirth classes jax fl

Birth Methods Suck

I’m gonna come out and say it. Personally and professionally I feel that birth methods and childbirth education that focuses on a single “method” rather than the individuals needs/desires suck.  Their inflexibility notwithstanding, they generally come with top-secret, super miraculous teachings that all but guarantee you’ll have the best birth. Not only is this misleading, I believe it creates more problems than it seeks to solve, even if unintentionally.

As the Jacksonville community and as previous First Coast Doulas clients know, we believe there is no one right or wrong way to birth or parent. Why would we believe there is one “right” way to approach childbirth education and coping with birth or parenthood?

We only argue that pineapple does go on pizza!

One of the biggest problems with specific childbirth education or birth methods I see is in their lack of flexibility and how that translates into real-world application.

If you have a stringent process or step-by-step “how-to”  for learning something that is completely unique and dependent on the person, their circumstances, etc.  how do you accommodate for individual and large-scale changes? While the information regarding the biology of pregnancy and childbirth are fact-based, and thus, simple enough to teach, the information dealing with helping people wade through those facts, their options, and their effects is entirely based on the individual family’s needs, goals, and values.

These birth methods employ a precise way to learn and apply that learning in handling pregnancy and birth with no room for deviation by the student or by updated hospital or care provider policy. Meaning, a method easily becomes too dogmatic and not realistic for our humanity of shifting expectations and requirements.

So what happens when a person learns a birth method in the hopes and anticipations that it will totally, or at the least, mostly work and then it doesn’t?

Well, unfortunately, they’re left with no Plan B and only a few ways in which they can deal. This is especially true the more obscure and branded the method is since oftentimes, the education component is lacking and the method built up hopes and dreams by the very nature of its superiority and its uniqueness.

While the birthing person may logically know what a contraction is, they may not know why and how it happens nor do they know all the various ways in which to alleviate the pain associated with them. They were counting on that one thing that no longer serves them.  Which leads to my last point…

Disappointment and guilt.

Parents become wrecked with guilt when their birth experience ends up disappointing, or worse, became traumatic. Parents feel guilty that they failed at the method; the one tried-and-true answer that has worked for everyone else, everywhere (or at least, that is what it feels like). They feel guilty that they invested time, money, and confidence. They feel guilty that they didn’t do it “the right way”.

This is even more pronounced when the birth plan is drastically changed from a stringent list, and it’s not fair.

It’s not fair because this guilt is unwarranted and can be prevented with comprehensive education that inspires expectant parents to fully understand the birth process, to learn multiple ways to deal, to explore all their options, and to make a Plan A and Plan B, and even maybe a Plan C.  Will it prevent feeling disappointment? No, nothing can ever be 100% and that is the point here. But, when you give yourself flexibility and adaptable ways to approach something as unpredictable as birth, you are increasing your chances of feeling successful, and thus, less guilty.

The solution is to put your family’s individual needs first and be a prepared parent!

Learn a bit of biology and birth physiology. Learn about effective communication and relationship building with your providers and birth team. Learn about the multitude of ways to deal with anxiety, fear, and pain. Learn about ways to research options and about differing techniques used in decision-making.

Skip the birth methods and focus on putting together all the pieces in a way that works for you! Remember there really is no right or wrong way, only different ways!

 

Placenta Capsules: Sharing More Than Experience, Part 1

Placenta Capsules: Sharing More Than Experience

We were contacted by a woman, we’ll call her Abby, and she wanted to learn more about our placenta encapsulation process. To be honest her email seemed suspicious. You see, in this business it’s not uncommon to receive emails from weirdos looking to talk about vaginal checks, sex during pregnancy, and such. Well, as it turned out Abby had valid reasons for being cautious, using an alias to protect her identity, and for contacting us.

Without further ado, Abby shares her story.

Placenta Capsules Jacksonville, FL

Placenta Capsules: Sharing More Than Experience

By Abby Anonymous

I will apologize now for the book, but there is nothing that can be cut from my story. Every word and every line is relevant and important. I never wanted to share my story

What I wanted was answers. I wanted to go back to the day she picked up my placenta and change my mind. I never asked for this.

Now, after talking with Liz, owner of First Coast Doulas, I know without any question that I need to share my story to tell others so they don’t make the same mistakes that I did. I don’t know if the other person knows what happened or if there are more people this has happened to. Maybe if the right people in the community share this blog they’ll see it.

What I really want is for others to beware when hiring someone for placenta encapsulation.

I have to protect my identity because I work in the medical field and do not want to be questioned by my colleagues. They already pick fun at me for choosing a more natural approach to all things. They ridiculed and mocked me about my decision to “eat my placenta”, now I wished I would have never told them. At the time they were just a little annoying, but as you can imagine if they found out about this I would be mortified.

Sharing my truth with people through this blog seems like the right thing to do because Liz was gracious enough to sit down with me and explain her process, step by step, from providing the clients with everything they need to take the placenta home to protocol for sanitization, and she answered all of my questions that she could answer.

I was 6 days post-birth when I received the call I never in a million years imagined I’d get.

It was the person who I trusted to pick up my placenta and return my placenta capsules to me on the other end of the call. Before she even broke the news to me I could sense regret in her voice. I knew something wasn’t right.

What she said next blew me away, “I am sorry, but I think I may have accidentally given you another mom’s capsules by mistake. I can pick the bottle up and bring you your capsules.”

What she said next I’m not sure, did anything really matter after that noise?

I hung up the phone in her face. I got sick. I literally became sick to my stomach and vomited not once, but twice.

I called her back and asked her how the hell it happened, who the other person was, and asked if she had spoken with the other person yet? I wanted to talk to her.

I was terrified and rightfully so.

The risks of taking someone else’s placenta capsules means you risk getting any contagious diseases the other person may have. You also risk your body having adverse effects to the other person’s placenta since its complete make up is unique to the person who grew it and delivered it.

The things I thought that day and in the days since: What about my baby, what if I contracted something awful can I pass it to her through breastmilk? I have to tell my husband and we will have to have protected sex until I know for sure I am safe. Why me? How could I of avoided this?

She said she believes her young son might have switched around the Post-it notes she labels the dehydrators with.

Post-It Notes?

What kind of shit show is she running exactly?

She continued, saying she has never had an issue with her son touching the dehydrators until recently and went on to say he has become a bit obsessed with playing with the dials and labels recently.

So this could have happened before and would likely happen again if she didn’t stop. Who knew what else could have happened. Why was the dehydrator around her son?

To be continued…

Read about what happened next in Placenta Capsules: Sharing More Than Experience, Part 2

 

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