Why Would I Want A Doula? Why Wouldn’t I?
You’re at the park pushing your daughter on the swing and another mom is pushing her son.
“It’s so hot. I’ll be glad when fall gets here,” the woman says to you!
You reply, ” No kidding, I don’t know what I was thinking, being pregnant through the summer sucks!”
“Congratulations! Yeah that’s tough I did that with my last baby, never again,” she responds laughing, “When are you due?”
With an, “I’m over it look” you explain, “Ugh, not for another six weeks!”
“Awe, an October baby, he was born in October,” she says pointing to her son. “Do you have a Doula?”
“No,” you state. “Isn’t that someone who helps you have the baby?”
“No, it’s kind of hard to describe what a Doula is and everything a Doula does,” she shares.
“I have a doctor and my boyfriend and mom will be there,” you say, while wondering why you would ever want a Doula.
She tells you about her experience, “That’s cool, my husband was with me, my midwife and her assistant arrived right as I was about to start pushing. My mom showed up right before he was born, but I was so thankful to have our doula there. Honestly I’m not sure how I would have done it without her, I know one thing, I don’t want to do it again without her, she was a God sent.”
Her cell phone rings. While she takes the call you wonder why anyone would want to have another person in the room when delivering their baby.
The kids run off to play in the mulch under the slide and you take a seat on the bench in the shade. Her call ends and you ask, “What was so great about having a Doula there, was it weird at all? My doctor delivered my baby, my boyfriend was there for that one and it went fine, so why would I want a Doula, no disrespect, I just don’t see the point I guess.”
“No offense taken at all. When I heard about Doulas from a couple of my friends I use to think the same thing. In fact, we hired our Doula on the recommendation of my best friend who also had a Doula and swore she didn’t know why anyone would want to labor without one. Go figure,” she said!
“Well, it’s one of those things that you have no idea you’d ever want until you have one, then you can’t imagine your life without one! Kind of like my story before I had a kid,” she laughed.
You can sort of relate with that so you smile and you laughed with her and she continued, “So, to answer your question; No, not weird at all, she is a professional, she is trained and experienced in supporting families. Several of my friends shared their stories with me about their deliveries, and I’ve had enough strangers tell me terrible stories while I was pregnant to last me a lifetime. Well, the stories from those who had Doulas all bragged about how supported they felt. That spoke volumes over those other stories I heard.” She paused for a moment.
Then, she began again, “our Doula helped me stay focused and calm, she was incredible. She really helped me and my husband in so many ways, ways I can’t even explain to you. She stayed with me when my husband fell asleep on the couch, which I honestly never imagined him doing, but babies come when babies are ready and he worked a double shift the day I labored so, yeah that was nice for both of us. He was able to eat and shower while I had the support I needed during that time. She seemed to know exactly what I needed without having to say a word to her. She gave me direction for labor positions that were effective in moving him down in the birth canal, I felt him drop lower, seriously she knew her stuff! Oh, and she did this hip squeeze thing that I swear I would pay double for next time! She woke my husband as I was about to start pushing. I remember looking up and seeing his face, wrinkled from sleep, and he looked like a deer in headlights,” she laughed.
“Seriously, his face was priceless, like it was me doing the work, what the heck was his deal,” she added.
“My boyfriend and I took a hospital childbirth class, he knows more this time then last time so he better not have that look,” you tell her, in all seriousness!
She shares with you, “Yeah, we took private classes and practiced a ton at home too, but when it came down to it he didn’t know what I needed at that point in my labor. I don’t know if he forgot or what happened. Our Doula gave him suggestions and reminded him of what we learned in the classes, it was awesome! He was awesome, the whole experience was just awesome. Just thinking about it makes me want another baby. You know, if my Doula can be there,” she laughs, but is serious in her tone.
By now you are interested, but still not sure, “Well, you know my mom had two kids, and she is giving me a hard time about wanting an epidural. I wonder if a Doula could be of any help to me, probably not since I am getting an epidural”.
“You bet,” she says, “my sister hired our Doula, she says she was great and she had an epidural, she had a long labor and because of an emergency with my niece’s heart rate she had to have a cesarean. Her Doula was excellent, she helped explain the process before she went back, helped her with breathing exercises despite not taking classes my sister says they were helpful. The Doula also helped her establish breastfeeding, assisted her with the baby, and even took pictures for them. My sister is already planning for her next baby and says she’ll hire her again.”
“Oh, wow, o.k. I just assumed Doulas were for natural births only. I’m glad I asked, thank you for sharing all of this with me,” you say surprised.
“Nope, our Doula is very professional, she gave us information about risks and benefits for anything we asked about and we made our own decisions she made it very clear that our birth was ours and she supported us in every way no matter what we chose. I know she meant that. I was sold on the idea of hiring a professional Doula before meeting her, but my husband wasn’t. My husband asked her a question, something along the lines of, well, she has me why does she need a Doula? Well, when she told him that even though I know him, loved him, and trusted him, that both of us would be better off with a Sherpa while hiking the Himalayan Mountains, birth is like a marathon, like hiking a mountain and he understood this. She went on to say that a Doula is like a trail guide for birth. I’m telling you she attuned to our needs and knew what to say to get him to open up. That isn’t an easy task with my husband,” she explained.
So your day started out like any other, led to you thinking; why would I want a Doula, and ended with; why wouldn’t I want a Doula!
As you wrapped up your time at the park you ask her if she could give you her Doula’s information. She looks you up on facebook, sends you a link to her Doula’s business page.
You go on to deliver your baby with your boyfriend, mother, and your Doula by your side. You never imagined your birth would go this way, the rest is history!
The evidence for Doulas;
The evidence for Doulas
The importance of Doula support
To have a professional Doula support, coach, and pamper you through your pregnancy, birth and postpartum period contact First Coast Doulas today and we will set you up with an amazing team!